Existential Lamenting...philosophically

As per Vedanta, all is one. However, the journey to realize that, not only theoretically but also truly in the practical sense can take a lifetime to several lifetimes. In the loka created by ignorance, most of us have to live in multiplicity, experience agenthood, personhood, the karmic cycle and several other components. However, even here, if one were to feel oneness or be devoid of subject object distinctions occasionally, it becomes easier to tackle some existential issues which require exercise of complete good virtues, if I may say so, like loyalty, faithfulness, etc. I gradually may lose my subject object distinction with the pen I pick up to 'pen down my thoughts' on a piece of paper. The pen, which I may have bought for INR5 or INR500 then becomes an integral part of my being. It helps me to communicate my thoughts on paper, is instrumental for there to be a piece of evidence of my thought process, can be used to view and analyse my writing, which may subsequently have cues about the manner in which my brain functions, given hand writing analysis etc.

 It becomes so much more than an inanimate object that many times a writer may think that 'I have lost the pen', while it is still in his/her hand. I can say the same thing about my spectacles. They are the eyes which allows me to actually view the world in its perfection as opposed to the blur reality my actual eyes allow me to see. 

I like to sum most of a person's life's en-devours to attain oneness with different 'things' be it animate or inanimate objects like people or animals. When I eat a loaf of bread, it gets consumed in my body. My education from a particular institute defines my attitude and perhaps behavior towards other people. My job and subsequently income I make, defines my status in society and also allows me to constructively make use of the time I have, and gives me a space to perform activity, which again requires energy from my body. However, what I fail to understand. Correction. What I fail to attain is, oneness in relationships. 

By the very definition of each relationship a person has, there are boundaries and protocols to be followed because of duality of 'relation'. And these seem to be completely justified. For instance, you must not speak to your parents in a disrespectful manner. Even though you give birth to your children, the protocol of civilized society is not to treat them as possession but allow them to develop or rather help them develop skills to be able to live life independently. There are very few people, or rather there are times in every relationship, where a person may reveal his or her entirety without inhibitions. For instance, a toddler is transparent and totally dependent on his or her parents. However, when the same toddler grows up, eventually, as dependency decreases and an individuality develops, he starts sharing little aspects of his or her life with his parents. To the effect that shame takes over which for instance prevented Dhuryodhan as per a mythical story to be completely naked before his mother. However, it would be a different story if it were his wife. 

Similarly, there is always a friend, everyone may have, or some may be lucky to have, with whom you may be comfortable to share your deepest darkest secrets. Initially, those friends were your siblings but as life takes a toll, those equations change too. Usually because eventually there will be more individual in each sibling's life like a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/children etc besides parents, who share them and take their time and perhaps even resources and space. For those who think, friendships are it. You have found your person. A few more years into maturity and you realize that your friend's life has other priorities or other people who eventually take priority and it is the social protocol to allow that to happen and be okay with it. And then, perhaps for some souls comes a search of a companion in the form of a life partner because barriers develop to not allow monism with those with whom you may have shared such an equation. In some cases, the barriers can be circumstantial too, even if they do not involve people. They may be barriers created by contingencies of distances or economics. For instance, there is a time, you would tell your parents immediately that you are in debt and it would be okay for your parents to support you financially. However, as you gain financial independence and your parents begin losing their resources or the ability to earn as efficiently, you spare them the pain of your financial woes should your budget go haywire. There may be so many people who live at actual physical distances away with their person they generally lose their subject object distinction with. 

In my life for instance, several relationships took turns to establish oneness from parents to sibling to friends. The search however with respect to a life companion for me ends abruptly each time when I begin the search. Still because of social protocol, human tendency, the need for being devoid of that subject object distinction in the most beautiful philosophical and to some degree, romantic manner, it begins again. colloquially, the search for 'the one' ends once a marriage takes place and the couple lives happily ever after. In the happily ever after stage, comes the next step in the Vedantic training - of giving birth to a child, a part of a person's being initially who will be dependent on the being for a very long time before one can eventually detach oneself from it - him or her or in some cases both. The logical equation of life in such a manner is so poetic it seems akin to the biological development of life - from generation of cells to multiple cells and then eventual degeneration before death or nihilism of the body, if not the soul. I seem to be stuck in a no-man's land. 

There is a need for being devoid of a subject object distinction with someone, who will allow it to its entirety for a long duration in a healthy and positive manner. At the same time, there is no one. Most people I come across are not worth spending the same space, let alone time. With some others, it seems okay to spend the time, but not space. For instance, today I spent three hours, unfortunately, on a meeting, where after 5 minutes in that social engagement I was thinking that this person is not worth my time or space. However, social protocol forced me to spend three hours of my life I will always regret and these were three hours I will never get back again. There are very few people who would understand me and even fewer who would want to accept me with all my flaws and protect me whenever required and help me improve as a human being. And these are qualities, a person looks for in a companion with whom a step towards monism is initiated. Protection need not be against enemies or evil but might just suggest an ability to protect by driving in a safe manner, for instance. As a person who has been driving for many years now, I feel extremely uncomfortable to sit in the navigator's seat. If I trust someone enough to relax while not being behind the stick, that would mark a tick in my checklist for protection. 

A person chooses or wishes to be with a person they would like to hang out (in both time and space), someone who understands, someone who protects and nurtures the soul. And luckily most people, around 90% of people find that companionship. One doesn't necessarily have to be the richest, the most educated, the most cultured, the most well spoken, the most graceful or elegant or beautiful to find companionship which is taken a step towards understanding monism and eventual detachment that two person person needs to experience eventually long after child birth. I am sure because I have seen poor, uneducated or less educated, uncivilized, obnoxious, rude, ugly person with 'a better half.' Why is it that my individual being, besides being ethical and having some friendships and relationships more precious than life itself, have failed to find 'the one'? I am waiting to be whole before I can split into two. I wonder whether I will experience that kind of companionship almost 90% of people experience. I am 90% sure I will fail and end this search as abruptly as I begin it each time. I am much like the absurd man in the Myth of Sisyphus, who was cursed for a lifetime to roll a stone up the mountain only to see it roll down over and over again....yes this is my philosophical way of existential lamenting!!

  

'This' Empty Room

Thoughts ripple and emotions condense

Actions freeze and silence fills 

Shadows see the light 

as the mind screams, liberating. 

In this loneliness, depression is the price of bliss. 

Then....

Emotions ripple, thoughts condense

Tears travel and memory pains 

Darkness compliments a mirage

Living this lie, becomes the price of happiness.

Two stories and two misconceptions

Today I saw a quotation on Facebook which read, as follows:

I liked it. And I shared it.
I liked it not because I really liked it but because it struck me.
I shared it, so that I could reflect on it.

It reminded me of two different stories of two couples.

Story 1: A story of marriage

The boy is a prospective groom settled in England. The girl is an innocent Indian girl settled in Delhi. During a conversation post their engagement she asked the boy, ‘Why did you wait until now to get married and why did you choose me?’ She of course romanticized about the latter question and had framed the first one just so that she could ask the second. He told her that until then, he did not feel professionally settled. When his friends had girlfriends and he wanted to get in a relationship, he did not think he was financially comfortable to fund a relationship. As a young lad he aimed to get a motorcycle before he could impress the girl. Once he got the motorcycle, he aimed higher for a car. And then higher and higher, until he found himself in England, rich and successful, with a house of his own, a car, and a career people get envious of. He wanted to get married to an Indian girl, someone who was of the same culture, grew up in similar circles. ‘And you didn’t find such a girl in England?’ The girl was still hoping to get an answer that he chose her because she is extraordinary, special, and beautiful or something of that order. Oblivious the boy answered, ‘Well, girls in England do not like Indian Men. Even Indian girls do not prefer Indian men.’ ‘ I wonder why is that?’ he exclaimed!   ‘I wonder why’ repeated the girl. The boy didn’t even notice the tone of sarcasm. Eventually, the guy told her that he likes her because she was from Delhi and talking to her reminds her of the city he grew up in. ‘There must be other reasons of him wanting to marry me besides the accidental chance phenomena of her birth in a particular city!’ thought the girl who was pining for romance. As her dream filled conception of love faded, she got married to the guy who chose her as his life partner.

Story 2: A Love Story

This story is completely opposite to that of another couple where the guy was struggling to make his career and the girl, who initially refrained from developing a relationship with this boy, eventually fell madly in love with him. The girl initially refrained from the relationship because she wasn’t seeking one. She didn’t know she was romantic until she got in a relationship. She didn’t want romance in her life. It was not part of her value system. She belonged to an acclaimed business family and girls in her family did not fall in love with no-bodies. She was trained from a very young age to get married when the time is right to a boy her family will select. Eventually though, she fell in love with this boy. What worried her occasionally is that he was not financially or professionally settled. He was not from the same town. He was not very educated. He had a very different background. He was not very articulate. He could not construct one grammatically correct sentence if he had a gun to his head and was told to frame one such sentence. He was living by himself in a metropolitan city of Mumbai and worked his way as a junior executive in a multinational company. His good points were that he was good looking, calm, seldom lost his temper, charming and ambitious.

And of course, what eventually set him apart for her was that he treated her like a queen. He doted over her. He listened to her. He told her that she was the most beautiful person he had met. He told her that he found her to be the nicest person in the universe. He spent time with her, if not money. He made her feel very special. And so she reciprocated. As their love progressed the girl nudged the guy to take their relationship to the next level and that level was to speak to his family and talk about marriage. And the romantic boy did. He told his mother in front of his girlfriend during a casual conversation about a girl he really liked. As he brought up the topic of his marriage, his mother panicked. He told her that she was a really good girl who did not hang out with boys despite living in a metropolitan city. The mother asked in disbelief, ‘How is that possible? You do not know these city girls my son.’ Without paying attention to the insult to her peers, the girlfriend who was listening to this conversation on speaker phone gestured the guy to tell his mother that she had ‘an all girls’ education’ growing up, to answer her question.  Instead the guy told her, while insulting his comrades (that is all men) that ‘she knows how horrible and untrustworthy boys are which is why she keeps away from them.’ He told his mother that the girl is very simple, loyal, educated, sweet, friendly and caring. ‘Once she walks in the room, she brightens it up. All eyes are on her. She has a magnetic personality’ he continued. As the boy was engrossed speaking to his mother who was getting more and more worried as he kept on adding adjectives for this city girl from out of town her son was obviously seeing, at that very time, the girl was getting overwhelmed and pleasantly surprised by these wonderful thoughts about her. He had never ever told her these things in all their conversations as explicitly and with as much passion as he just did while talking to his mother. This girl who didn’t think romance was important and had only dreamt about marriage was snooped over by the power of these words which made space for romance in her life.

The boy’s mother, who wasn’t very educated or careful with her words and wasn't aware her conversation was being heard by this girl vocalized the point that 'this girl must be trashy to hang out with you, my boy from out of town. Educated rich city girls do not make good daughter-in-laws. They don’t adjust well. They will keep you apart from your parents. Do not get absorbed in the witchy tactics of these characterless girls my son.’ Tears dwelled in the eyes of the girl, as she heard her prospective mother-in-law dismiss her. That was the end of their relationship as she understood relationships. ‘What does she see in you my son!? What is she looking for? Doesn’t she know you are not rich or settled or educated?’ questioned his mother unable to think of a reason for which this girl was trapping her son at the same time fearing/wondering whether her son had been honest with this girl. ‘Does she even know your nature? Has she ever seen you lose your temper, get angry?’ At this point, the boy moved away from his girlfriend and removed his mother from speaker. The conversation was now in a very low voice. As the girl strained to listen more, she did hear him say, ‘She has. She has seen me get mad. And yet she is with me. I am struggling to make ends meet as you and dad and everyone is well off at home' he said hitting his fist against a wall 'and she is besides me.' he said. He continued, 'The reason why I like her so much mom, is exactly because she loves me despite all my flaws. She knows who I am, what I am, what I am capable of, of our financial situation, everything and she still cares for me and she still wants to marry me!’ He had not realized that the reason why this girl wanted to marry him was because that was the only obvious conclusion of such a relationship she had been told was correct. ‘And I do not think I will find anyone who will accept me like she does.’ He gasped. Once the conversation ended, both knew what had to be done. Despite rationale their relationship did not end, not just then anyways. There were times when he would kiss her and tell her that, ‘that is all I can offer you. This is all I have to keep you happy.’ And there were times when he would not kiss her telling her that ‘I feel guilty when we kiss. I feel bad for being treated well when I can’t reciprocate.’ Hearing this, the girl would get emotional, kiss him instead and calm him down telling him that ‘a kiss is not a prize which needs to be bought by success or money. It is just an expression of love.’  

Conclusion:

The men in both these stories would agree with, 'like' and perhaps even 'share' the quotation I liked and shared, but for very different reasons.  This is because they believe like the boys in both stories despite their status in life, that money and struggle attracts a certain kind of woman.     

The first story which lacked romance, despite a want of it, resulted in marriage.

The second story which had romance, despite a desire for it, did not conclude in a marriage.

Besides irony what these stories have in common is the thoughts of both these men, if not their personalities.

The rich guy thought that with money he would end up with the girl he wanted. During his years of struggle he did not believe that he had the money to fund a relationship.  

The romantic struggler felt grateful to have a woman who loved him during his struggling years and guilty for not being able to provide for her.

As a woman I think that either love or marriage or perhaps both or perhaps the notion of these concepts attracts women, it is not money or struggle. Some men are just lucky to have women besides them in both these spheres of life. The girl who stood besides the struggler was not attracted to his struggle. The girl who was engaged was not attracted to money. What is strange is that men get to struggle and men get to become rich and both kinds 'get the women!' This might be the reason why they form a connection between their life status and women and call it attraction. On the other hand women do not necessarily get what they want or need from men. In both stories at least, the one who wanted romance got a loveless marriage. And the one who wanted marriage got romance. Whether love/marriage is a need/want is a topic of a later discussion for which there is scope of much debate.    

Cold seeps in!

The cold wind keeps blowing on.
No matter how warm you try to be
No matter what month of the year it is.
The cold seeps in!

Sometimes slowly, sometimes unexpectedly, but always with certainly
The rules of life get obsolete.
So we make new ones.
Those rules too don't work
So we stop making rules.

The combat continues though.
How do we live?
A life in isoluation is unhealthy
Social being tend to dominate the realms of thoughts and actions
Society demands compromise of every kind...(and is shameless about it!)
People Insult one's virtues with brutal honesty
The most overrated virtue ever is 'honesty'
and oh the supposed truths of apparently self righteous people
Irrespective of whether these truths violate the laws of decency
and are emotionally insensitive
these are placed on a pedestal so high
that the sight of disgust doesn't reach there
And so, should one live in isolation or the company of fools
Is God dead, does God exist, did he/she ever exist?
Rhetoric as these questions are or maybe, we visit these
when conflicted with the choice of a way to live!
to keep ourselves warm!

Diwali: An ironical festival: why do we celebrate it?!!!

Diwali Time is here again. It’s the time people go crazy in India. It is the time when a lot of Hindu deities did a lot of great stuff incidentally in this particular time of the year which gives lots of Indians, who worship different Ista devatas and in the case of Islam, no devata but the formless Allah. However, as far as my limited knowledge of Indian Mythology goes, the story which is most familiar for me to understand the significance of a particular festival of Diwali in North India, is the comeback of King Ram Chandra along with his sibling Lakshman and wife Sita after 14 years of exile to claim his thrown in Ayodhya from his dutiful brother Bharat, who fulfilled the King's responsibility in his absence. The fateful day of their return in antiquity was marked by a natural obstacle of the arrival time coinciding with a night of Amavasya (a moonless light). In the absence of the moonlight, every house in the city of Ayodhya lit several lights (via dias) and the reception was brilliantly lit. The infrastructural set up under Bharat's leadership along with the support of the citizens of the kingdom resulted in a night to remember.

As it so happened, the period of exile just mentioned included participation in a war which has now been symbolised as the victory of ‘good over evil.’ A case of honour killing of Lord Ravana is also celebrated in India few days before Diwali. For those who might not know, Ravana was an evil genius who abducted Ram's wife Sita in an attempt to defend the honour of his sister who was incidentally insulted by Ram's brother, Lakshman. This insult had resulted in a physical injury, so I guess, physical assault by men on women was not unheard of even back then. So basically a mythological feud resulted in a war which was won by Ram and his supporters. Every year on Dusshera, an ‘inhuman act of burning someone’....sorry....’the inhuman act of burning three persons at stake’ is recreated when Ravan and his two companions, a brother and a son, are burned around 6 pm in the evening as the sun goes down. People find nothing derogatory,  immoral or sadistic in such celebrations. I don’t think that even Hitler, undoubtedly one of the most hateful character in entire history is celebrated with such vigour even though all might remember that day mentioned on history books when he committed suicide.   And while I might even submit to an interpretation of Dushera being a good event, (if someone exhausts me into accepting defeat by being over-zealous about this event being the best example of victory over good over evil),  Diwali is still hard to similarly digest.

My objection is based on what followed Diwali, which people tend to forget. Lord Ram, who fought a kingdom run by supposed 'demons' to rescue his rightful wife, separated from his wife, who by the way, also happened to be pregnant at the time, when questions were raised about the chastity of the tainted queen due to the time she spent in a foreign land under the reign of a man other than her husband during her abduction. The dutiful Ram, who ironically trusted his wife, left his feelings aside and sacrificed by leaving his pregnant wife. Celebration of a day when all was rosy for the couple who had returned after years of obstacles and difficulties seems justifiable. However, the joy turns sour after reflecting on the outcome of that marriage. What finally did become of Ram-Sita? To interpret this mythical story in contemporary terms, celebrating Diwali is akin to celebrating a significant memory for a couple who ultimately did not end up together. No matter how beautiful a relationship is, no matter how true love is, when the relationship is mentioned in past tense, memories turn bitter-sweet. Celebrating Diwali is like celebrating a special event for a couple after their break-up. Any normal person with reasonable amount of emotional quotient will agree that such celebrations are indeed in very bad taste. Forget the contemporary example, I shudder to empathize with our 'Sita' of antiquity, the single mother who tried to raise the King's twin, must have had to go through each year on Diwali. If Diwali has been celebrated every year from the year when Ram-Sita returned to Ayodhya, then Sita would have had to go through an emotional turmoil any heartbroken girl who loved and lost would feel thinking about the memories of a special day of a past relationship. So, in retrospect, celebrating Diwali is just so cruel.

Again, to think about Diwali in terms of contemporary vocabulary, let’s say, our country hosted a magnanimous event, Olympic games or marriage of two very important Indians, and the government invested a lot of money on decorations and infrastructural advantages for the day, I doubt, whether we will feel it necessary to attempt to re-enact such an extravagant event. What you might do, is recall, 'remember, that wedding was so memorable because of the food, the lighting, clothes.' That is where we would stop. But we don’t for Diwali, do we?

Last year, my reasons to get annoyed by the paraphernalia of Diwali were different. I mean, the separation of Ram-Sita was also on the back of my mind but it is not something most Right wing Hindus are even mature enough to hear. Anyhow, previously, the reasons which I voiced out were economical.  I remember having argued that festival time is a season of wasteful activities of gift giving, shopping, extra traffic and a lot on the pockets of people who do regular jobs, most of whom don't get a hike in salary or diwali bonuses during this festival season. Festivals do not let them budget the way such people would have done otherwise. I remember somebody arguing, saying, it is a time when the average working guy, the picture of whom I seemed to have painted, is capable of buying several things, because of special diwali discounts. I was also told that festivals give a reason for people to celebrate and that gift giving during this season doesn't raise any suspicions. I had counter argued that people should not wait for festivals to celebrate and that gift giving during Diwali always have social prejudices. A person might have spent some good amount of money on a Diwali gift. The recipient might not appreciate it much and take it for granted, thinking, 'of course, I deserve a gift on Diwali. I will reciprocate accordingly. Perhaps I can keep this gift I have received to re-gift someone else I don't want to buy a gift for, but still entertain.' The value of a gift which is becomes necessary in social situations is not as much as the value of a gift given for no particular reason.

The only thing that I find is commendable on Diwali was Bharat and the common citizens’ efforts to light up a place on a moonless night. What they did at that time was perhaps an achievement at that point in history. Now, fortunately, it’s not required. There are other achievements which me can celebrate. (But no, we continue celebrating burning someone to death and a good day in the life of a couple who ultimately separated.) On Diwali, if I have to give credit to anyone or respect anyone, it would be Bharat, who  I hear, was a wonderful Vice President to the President (so to speak) for the kingdom advanced and developed in terms of economics and infrastructure while the righteous king went on an exile and ended up costing more to the kingdom by engaging in a war over a family feud.  Unfortunately, in all these years of having been present in India during Diwali celebrations this event against my better judgment, not once did I ever find a figurine of Bharat. The market is flooded with figurines of Ram, Sita, Ganesh and Lakshmi but there is no space for Bharat(the good man) in Bhaarat(the country). And while I have nothing against Ganesh or Lakshmi, (for I am not aware of an obvious problem in their mythological story line) I frankly have no respect of a deity called Ram. And Sita just reminds me of a wronged heartbroken single mother who was the punching pillow for a horrible, indifferent and insensitive society, I'd rather not remember. 

A scarecrow's open sky

Life is at a crossroad. Usually that signifies a choice to be made. Instead I feel I stand in the middle and am looking up at the open empty clear blue sky - a sky without clouds - white or black, without sunlight, without stars and the moon, an absolute blank. And yet I feel soaked in this void. I recall in primary school, we were given assignments about writing autobiographies of inanimate objects. Today I feel like writing from the point of view of a scarecrow but I still wish to call it 'it'. Perhaps that is the only way I can look at myself objectively, if I make myself an inanimate object and get rid of the 'I-ness' and also 'my ego'.

Only, this scarecrow....its not in the field of lush green life and yellow flowers. It's ill placed, in an arid zone. It is in the middle of nowhere from where two roads lead to a far off destination. There is no one to scare, no birds around, no humans, nothing. Just the road and the ground and that sky and that scarecrow. It is there, ready in its costume - designed to scare. But its head, is up in the sky. Its least bothered to scare anyone or anything. There is a solace of just being there. It looks ready for a fight but it is really not interested.

And still, it can feel the pain in standing it that position, in that posture. It can feel the pain in its artificial arms and feet made of hay as I can feel in my arms and legs right now after a long day. The body is tired and wants to float in mid air. But the mind, yes, this scarecrow seems to have one, is elsewhere. It is looking up at that beautiful clear sky. It doesn't have to choose. It doesn't have to succumb to the odd circumstances of its placement.

The choice is of not having to make a choice and still choose a path just by looking up and away from both the roads.And still, strangely such peaceful and strange thoughts are keeping me up at this odd hour of complete and utter silence.  There is no mystery, there is no desire, there is no hope, there is no angst, there are no expectations, there are no disappointments, but there just is this silence and a clear blue open empty ever extending sky and not just its promise with life being at a standstill. 

Reflections on the demise of Jiah Khan

While I do not condone suicide for many reasons, I cannot but help understand what may have led Jiah Khan to take such a drastic step so quickly. It is hard to get a taste of success and then just sit back. It seems that her professional life and personal life did not seem to be going well. I can relate to that. However, what she failed to realize or recognize is that there are a number of people who cared deeply for her.

Despite being talented, having done some good films, she didn't get the kind of work she deserved. The nature of her work also did not provide her stability. Quite often, actors like her completely devote themselves to a project. And when the project gets over, it is over. The wait between two projects may be long. And it might not end. That leads to a lot of despair. Usually, when one's professional life is not working well, one can always feel successful in one's personal life. However, when it is rocky in one's personal life too, it must definitely get difficult. The problem really is that most often some women tend to make the man in their life the center of their universe. And when situations turn sour, they feel worse than lonely. There seem to be no ‘telos’ (purpose) for them. The parameter of success is judged by them by their relationship with the man in their lives and their standing in their professional realm. These women ignore the fact that they also have a set of friends and family, which dote over them. They seem to forget that life can have more meaning, in one's personal and professional life. If only they realize that their personal life should not be dependent on one individual and that there is not necessarily that one profession for them, they would find life worth living. Currently, my life too seems to be at a stagnant point, personally and professionally. I am a single woman (not defined by the presence of a man in my life) who is currently not associated with anything professionally despite having a hell lot of work experience at some of the best places in my field. Jiah Khan went for auditions. I go for interviews and I apply wherever I deem fit. She was told to shed a few pounds. I am told to shed a lot of pounds regularly. I have every reason to be depressed. I am not. I am quite alright with this stagnant phase too. I learn to enjoy it. I plan my day, each day. I do the things I love. I love myself. I am proud of my credentials. I love my body. I love my mind. I love my smile. I am optimistic that something will happen when the time is right. My optimism is not blind. I do oscillate between an optimist and a skeptic. Even so, when the skeptic devil takes over, I still feel glad. Though single and out of work, I still get to do what I love. I plan each day. And I enjoy each day. And while I seldom resort to religious prayers, I do pray that Jiah Khan's soul rest in peace. And I would like to be thankful to a God, if there is one, or perhaps my own subconscious, to allow me to enjoy each day of my life.

Never in my life do I ever want to take the path taken by Jiah Khan and so many other deceased personalities. 

And there is good reason for that. Some are cited below: 

1. Does our live really belong to us? If birth is not a choice, death shouldn't be either.

2. There is no guarantee that an after-life is not going to be just as bad if not worse. So, there is a probable possibility that the act of suicide itself will defeat its purpose.

3. It is selfish to die and haunt one's loved ones and caregivers and care getters stranded with a horrible and haunting memory of one's last moments.

4. Just about anything can be a reason to kill oneself. And if one rationally analyses it, each such reason can be found to be a non reason to kill oneself. It is conceivable to live or not live due to some hypothetical reason. So, it is really hard to be driven rationally to take such a step to end one's life.

5. As death is an inevitable fact, everybody can be replaced. Everybody will be replaced. The only way we can make our lives treasured is to let people register our presence in their lives.