Identity and absences

It is interesting that at times we assert our presence by exhibiting narcissistic tendencies of creative expression…be it by way of writing a poem, dancing, singing, posting a picture on social networking site, or maybe writing a blog. Interestingly, ones presence can also be felt in absences.

You experience the absence of friends’ comments about a movie, life in general or you. This experience probably holds more weight than the actual content of the comments shared. You call it nostalgia.

You experience the absence of a continuum of your life, should some circumstances so arise, that a discontinuity abrupt what was at the same time both memorable and mundane. You call it change, sometimes welcomed, sometime detested.

You experience the absence of the voice, of the touch of a familiar someone, who may have made you familiar with yourself, a family member like mother, father, sister, brother, nephew or a lover perhaps. Accordingly, you call it homesickness or lovesickness respectively.

Some absences can have a haunting effect…when no one at the end of a telephone call speaks, but instead indulges in listening to the not so hollow ‘hellos’...or when there is a knock at the door, but no one at the door. You call it creepy.

In each of these cases, at times the negation of the existent is a conscious choice and at times it is so unconsciously done, that it hardly seems to be a choice. However, there is always a choice, or so one would like to believe. And the choice really is the manner in which one wishes to exert oneself, by positively exhibiting oneself in a way for others to witness or negatively by escaping cognition. Both, presence and absences are ways to assert one’s identity. This amounts to say, you always assert yourself. At times, when this is done negatively, there seems to be a power play, to hide oneself from being witnessed, you negate others from seeing who you are, propelling them to engage in a search instead.