Begin and End and live in between

A new day, a new begining, a new life,
It seems so easy and so nice!
It leads to a tour unexplored
Leaves a journey lived through
struggles, feelings, choices made and taken,
victories, loses, farewells, recognition
One wonders if these are lessons learnt or karmas lived and done with
It seems pragmatic to remember the good, forget the bad and the ugly,
underlining the silver lining
And look ahead
To new begining and new endings
And 'a life' in between

Sad but beautiful

I was listening to this song and I love it. Great singer, great voice, equally great music! Yet there was something which made it so very different from so many other songs. I mean, every song on someone's playlist is one which is considered to be sung by a great singer with a great voice, and has great music. What made this so different? I guess it all boils down to the lyrics then, the words, put together in such a way that it just makes thoughts flow in a subtle manner, covered by music by a nightingale, that at times, it becomes difficult to understand why it makes you so calm. The lyrics, are of a woman who obviously have a broken heart. However, the song is not about her undying love, in those words, although in her wishes it says just that, undying love, despite possible distance and oblivion about his whereabouts in life. It is also about mature realistic love. (Although, it is doubtful, whether there can be such a thing! That kind is generally not celebrated in our culture, what is celebrated is a happily ever after or bittersweet sagas which is marked by death of the couple!) She knows that a lot of time has gone by, and that a finality is not needed in a happy ever after with that person, for her love to be meaningful. It is so sad and yet so beautiful.....

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "
Yeah

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah 

A nine month affair

It takes a while for initiation, then it begins

...begins with the 'unknown' towards unification.

Seems like  a 'life long commitment'

with the optimists' promises of a bright future

and the skeptics' uncertainty and doubt

crowded and overwhelmed by a few glitches of advices and opinions

Till the point when there is no subject object distinction

You think for two, you eat for two but you count as one, 'we', 'us'

But then in time, the monism ends into dualism and 'it' ends

leaving its after effects. 

Identity and absences

It is interesting that at times we assert our presence by exhibiting narcissistic tendencies of creative expression…be it by way of writing a poem, dancing, singing, posting a picture on social networking site, or maybe writing a blog. Interestingly, ones presence can also be felt in absences.

You experience the absence of friends’ comments about a movie, life in general or you. This experience probably holds more weight than the actual content of the comments shared. You call it nostalgia.

You experience the absence of a continuum of your life, should some circumstances so arise, that a discontinuity abrupt what was at the same time both memorable and mundane. You call it change, sometimes welcomed, sometime detested.

You experience the absence of the voice, of the touch of a familiar someone, who may have made you familiar with yourself, a family member like mother, father, sister, brother, nephew or a lover perhaps. Accordingly, you call it homesickness or lovesickness respectively.

Some absences can have a haunting effect…when no one at the end of a telephone call speaks, but instead indulges in listening to the not so hollow ‘hellos’...or when there is a knock at the door, but no one at the door. You call it creepy.

In each of these cases, at times the negation of the existent is a conscious choice and at times it is so unconsciously done, that it hardly seems to be a choice. However, there is always a choice, or so one would like to believe. And the choice really is the manner in which one wishes to exert oneself, by positively exhibiting oneself in a way for others to witness or negatively by escaping cognition. Both, presence and absences are ways to assert one’s identity. This amounts to say, you always assert yourself. At times, when this is done negatively, there seems to be a power play, to hide oneself from being witnessed, you negate others from seeing who you are, propelling them to engage in a search instead.

Changing a profile picture...it sends a lot of messages

It sends a lot of messages. Most minimally, it tells some that you do own a camera. It reminds others that you have free time enough to upload a snap. It tells a few sensitive others that you would rather do social networking than spend time with them. It tells you that you think you look better than other versions of yourself to share with others. It sends a message of a deep seated narcissism. It reminds many ‘friends’ on your page about you, when they are not even thinking of you! It becomes a topic of conversation for some outside of facebook too. For a stalker few, who have somehow managed to access your page, decoding and hacking all necessary privacy settings, unknowingly, it adds an unsavory item to their obsession. It tells your lover who took the previous facebook snap or gifted you some accessory which added a zing to your profile picture…that you have moved on. (Unless of course your changed picture also is a reminder of that lover.) Either way, it informs that you are happy and possibly confident. It tells people that you think that the new picture is a better representative of yourself than your last picture. It tells you that you are photogenic. It may tell some that you think you are photogenic. It tells you that someone photographed you. It signifies that you believe in change and that you are not technologically challenged. To a few deep thinkers, it reminds you of a moment in time which you would like to live for a longer few moments. A longer, but still few moments, because we all know that you are going to change it again sometime in the future....unless you do not have a list of changed profile pictures. It might be a reminder that while traveling or attending some event or get together, there is this one good solo snap of yours which made the entire event or travel bit memorable or even more memorable but most definitely worth capturing. A changed facebook profile picture, it sends a lot of messages. It might inform some cousins or friends or some new people you are chatting up these days that you listen to them when they tell you that you must change your profile picture. It tells some long distance friends, or friends you have maintained distance for a long time that you have changed, if there is a drastic change in your pictures. If the change is too apparent, it allows some friends, the curious ones and the close ones, to review your album or albums. It might just remind someone of you. It might leave an impression. It may leave no impression whatsoever. Some of these messages might hold familiar interpretations for those who have not changed their profile pictures. As some changes are not exclusive to whether you have changed the picture or not. Having said that, it may still be maintained that a changed facebook profile picture may send a lot of messages.

When the good turns bad

My life was about good things, and then it became bad.
It is exciting but it is also quite sad.
That I cash in on other people’s misery
Still the worry is that I don’t cash quite as much
Offering advice to prevent untold incidents
Doesn’t seem to prevent the morning paper with a dozen such
An ethics graduate, teacher and student,
I lie through my teeth now
And my victims know not how
It helps save selected few in the world,
From misery, deceit and murder some how.
But there is misery, there is deceit, there is murder everywhere
Reminds me there are people who kill out there.
They make those like me rich, and they don’t even know
You wonder who I am, I am a research analyst
I am concerned with crime rates, terror threats, security breach
I study patterns and notify trends
I look at rules which others have bent
I wish that I could save the world and update everyone of the dangers out there
But I can’t do that because of a non disclosure agreement
If I do tell, I will come across as paranoid and insecure
That’s quite ironical since on the past seven years of optimism,
I could have bet all my dough
It is perhaps what made me survive so far in the big bad world
But the big bad world triggered the bad wolf in my being
For my job requires untruthfulness, secrecy, insomia and insensivity
And previously, in my being, it was quite unseen.
I wish for a miracle, I wish everyday
That I get rescued from this sinful world of today
I hope to get rescued, I hope to rescue too
But that is a prerogative, of only a selected few.

The Oldest Song

"These were never your true love's eyes.
Why do you feign that you love them?
You that broke from their constancies,
And the wide calm brows above them!

This was never your true love's speech.
Why do you thrill when you hear it?
You that have ridden out of its reach
The width of the world or near it!

This was never your true love's hair, --
You that chafed when it bound you
Screened from knowledge or shame or care,
In the night that it made around you!"

"All these things I know, I know.
And that's why my heart is breaking!"
"Then what do you gain by pretending so?"
"The joy of an old wound waking."

- Rudyard Kipling